|It seems endless sometimes, but the journey is still worth it.|
Sometimes I feel like I am spinning in so many little directions I can never see the big turns in the road for what they are. Death by 1000 paper cuts is how my husband describes it (though I suspect he is not the first to use that phrase), and that is a perfect example of the situation: Here I am, sitting at a computer, connected to a broadband carrier that will allow me to use most any websearch service, but I won't look up that phrase to see who first coined it, mostly because I dare not get "off topic" anymore than I already am. (And truthfully, the quality of most websearches of late has been so mediocre, I'm not sure it would help anyway. Try to Google anything these days without having the first ten links involve some review company or marketing firm--I should know; I just tried looking up the address and phone number of the Monro Muffler Brake in East Greenbush and NEVER even got a link to Monro.com [the store is here, btw].)
|I can finally see the sky|
This cornucopia was a product of my most favored form of writing...the day dreaming method (not really its name, just something I call it; I don't actually know if it even has a name). What this method involves is me staring at my computer screen, playing some mindless cardgame (it has to be a mindless card game, like solitaire--Vegas-style with cumulative scoring) and listening to music (usually something I know very well and am nearly numb to, Vangelis or Tomita both work very well) for often hours without interruption. Then I go to sleep, only to wake up the next morning bemoaning the fact that I can't just sit for hours and type everything that is spilling out of my dreams. On rare mornings I can sit, with either pen and paper or my laptop, and spew away, but often several hours pass before I reach a point where I can settle down and put the ideas into a more permanent form. Of course I forget some. I remember most however, and those that linger the longest I've found full or details and side considerations that launch me into paragraph upon paragraph of a scene. (In the words of those silly people at the Art of Manliness.. this is Invention!)
|When things flow smoothly, it's beautiful.|
It's a rare gift when I have a day like this lately; most of my computer time seems to be dedicated to "getting work done": paying bills, catching up on the back-log of articles and essays I get sent, or typing in second drafts of the many notebooks I have filled over the past many years (most of which will never see the light of day, but serve a different purpose now in inspiring me to new and better things), or showing my son the latest pictures of the planets or Linkin Park videos at his request. Time to just just and stare, to allow my subconscious to work its magic is so rare that I always approach it with the amazement that overtakes me when I see a butterfly....will it stay? how long can I enjoy its presence? WOW!